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Friday Fun – ‘EULAgy’ for MS Works

Last Tuesday, October 15, News.com reported that Gateway was fourth computer maker plans to dump Microsoft Works and instead bundle Corel’s WordPerfect Office with its low-end consumer machines. Though not a slathering anti-MSFT zealot, I couldn’t resist the urge to pile on with the following silly satire as part of our Fridays of Fun series:


Microsoft Works Suite Dead at 2003

William Gates, CEO of the CPU, has announced the passing of the watered-down, kissing cousin
of Microsoft Office XP, Microsoft Works Suite (MWS). It was version 2002.

MWS was laid to rest in one of the largest disassemblies in recent years.
Placed in a bit bucket between Lotus Symphony and DisplayWrite, its demise
was celebrated by such luminaries as Dan Bricklin and Seymour Rubenstein.

The gravesite was piled high with unfinished .RTF documents as
longtime Word wannabe, WordPad, ruffled some feathers when whie delivering a eulogy, it describing MWS as an app who “was constantly fighting to appease the home user.”

Internet Explorer didn’t help things by asserting that MWS’ demise was accelerated by imposed strict licensing deals with hardware makers, expensive user upgrade paths and intrusive registrations and overbearing EULAs.

At that point delegates from Visual Basic .NET stepped in and restored operational order.

Later, Notepad was heard coming to the defense of WordPad by asserting that a
double entendre was impossible the “almost Word-like utility” was not equipped with “extended thesaurus support … then again, neither was MWS.”

MWS is survived by a 30 year End Users License Agreement, along with
a host of incompatible database files.


  1. Works, I’ll miss you. For all your faults you and my Toshiba T1000 laptop got me through college:

  2. -insert program disk-
    -insert file disk-
    -insert program disk-
    -insert file disk-
    -insert program disk-

  3. I got a promo mailing from Bill’s castle offering Works for $94, including Word 2002. Not a bad deal, considering.

  4. David hit upon one of the great secrets of MS Works Suite — It includes a full, and separately installable copy of Word 2002.

    If you avoid the autorun Works installer, you can pretty easily find the Word installation program, and bingo, you have a spiffy legal copy of Word 2002 for about $200.00(US) less than if you just went out and bought a copy of Word!