Comments on: Selecting a Programming Language

By: azuka

azuka — Tue, 17 May 2005 09:32:56 +0000

C++:

You forget to include ‘gun.h’ where you have created the class ‘Gun’. When you finally do, Gun::bullet turns out to be constant and cannot be passed by reference in Gun::shoot(Bullet &bullet). Compiler shoots you in the foot

By: Brian Raaen

Brian Raaen — Wed, 27 Apr 2005 02:56:08 +0000

Fortran 95/2000/2003
You compute complex vector sum and discover that having bullet riochet off wall starts the expantion process for your hollow point. You then calculate the optimal angle that takes all angles of incidence, densities, and velocities to calculate the matrix sum that produces the largest possable sized hole in foot.

oops… forgot to calculate caliber, oh well … within a .005% tolerence range at least…

By: Jeremy

Jeremy — Thu, 11 Nov 2004 07:16:35 +0000

AS/400, iSeries

Load $2000 dollar bullet into $1,000,000 dollar gun. Point at foot and fire. Beautiful, reliable, expensive hole in foot.

By: Spencer Schumann

Spencer Schumann — Fri, 23 Apr 2004 14:07:31 +0000

Erlang: You send a bullet message to your foot, but since your foot was not looking for bullet messages, nothing happens.

By: Julian Day

Julian Day — Sat, 11 Oct 2003 01:00:14 +0000

Eiffel: You would have shot your foot, but since that violates several preconditions, the operation fails.

By: Joey A. Tyson

Joey A. Tyson — Mon, 22 Sep 2003 17:14:57 +0000

Delphi: You shoot yourself in the foot with a gun as powerful as C++, but this time you can actually tell what happened.

By: James

James — Mon, 22 Sep 2003 14:15:04 +0000

Red Hat: You try to edit an initialization script, then discover that the gun was installed by default. It shoots you in the foot next reboot.
Mandrake: You select the “weapons” group. There is no way to avoid selecting the gun without breaking each and every dependancy in the system. Sooner or later you remove a package that causes you to be shot in the foot.
Debian: You select the wrong calibre during setup. On reboot, your gun explodes, removing your entire lower leg.
Slackware: You forget to tell the system that you want to upgrade your gun and accidentally install another one over the top of the original. You shoot yourself in both feet in frustration.
Gentoo: You give a specification to a gun-maker who promises to build you the best gun possible. You get bored waiting and shoot yourself in the foot.
FreeBSD: You keep loading bullets into the chamber because you can’t see how much space you have left. Eventually the gun jams and you throw it to the floor, breaking your foot on the way.

By: Rowen

Rowen — Mon, 22 Sep 2003 01:08:11 +0000

ASP:
dim blnFootShot
set objGun = server.createobject(“Amoury.Pistol”)
set objBody = server.createobject(“Anatomy.Body”)
if not objGun.loaded then
objGun.load(objBullet)
end if
for i = 0 to (body.parts.length -1)
if not body.part.name = “foot” then
gun.safety = false
gun.fire
gun.rackSlide
gun.load(objBullet)
blnFootShot = true
else
gun.safety = true
blnFootShot = true
end if
If blnFootShot then
response.write “Your feet have been shot. Thankyou for using our fott shooting service. Please return to our homepage for more servcies”
else
response.write “Your foot was not shot. The system could not find you foot. We apologise for any inconvenience casused. If you find that any other body parts were shot by mistake, please contact the webmaster.”
end if

By: mac

mac — Mon, 19 May 2003 15:22:25 +0000

ha ha ha

By: AC

AC — Sat, 15 Mar 2003 00:25:53 +0000

PHP:

include (“gun.php”);
include (“foot.php”);
global $gun, $foot;
$gun->fire($foot);

Oops, you forgot to get the bullets from the SQL server.