I know, reading the documentation is hard sometimes, but we’ve all got to buckle down and do it. That said, here is some vintage Usnet Humor just that proves I feel your pain:
NCM(1) (EssentialFluids) NCM(1) NAME ncm -new coffee maker SYNOPSIS ncm [-RadCxmlnogrtucpFbqisf ] [caf|decaf|columbian] DESCRIPTION For each available heating unit, ncm determines if coffee exists, is hot, and is not tar(4). If any ofthese are true,the necessary actions are takento change the situation as required, or as specified by theenvironment variable BURNERS. ncp then gathers the necessary material and proceeds. The -Moption makes coffee in the morning. The drinkinfo(4) database is used to determine the blend and the amount ofcaffeine, basedon the environment variables DRINK, TZ, and the current time. If this informationcannot be obtained, full strength Maxwell House is assumed. The ncm command has many, many more than the following options, not all of which arecurrently supported. Some may neverbe supported. We are really busy here,and we will try to get around to it as soon as possible, but Doc is breathing down my neck to getsomething else done, soyou will just have to be patient!: -R Recursively makecoffee until all resources are exhausted. -a Generatearoma only. -l The sameas -n except slower. -d Brew decaf. Will not operate before 10:30 am. -n The sameas -l -j Use Jamaica BlueMountain primo special. This can only be executed by coffeadmin. -r Reverse the order of brewing to get newest firstor oldest first as appropriate. -v Execute the vgrind(1) program before proceeding for a fresher brew. EXAMPLES ncp -ldmNOW! Make lots of coffee now! FILES /etc/grinder /etc/filter SEE ALSO tee(1), coke(1), sync(1). NOTES The ncm command may be used as a filter. For more information see the "Making Good Coffee" section of Chapter 10 ofthe Kitchen Administrator's Guide. BUGS Ick. I hope not.
The author’s name is Cary O’Brien of Addamax Corp., Rockville, MD.