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Every Nerd’s Worst Nightmare

Pizza – one of the staples of the geek diet and youth ministries. Since I’m both a geek and a youth ministry volunteer, I fell both qualified and duty-bound to talk about the sad state of affars that is the industrialized pizza production industry.

Recently, and IMHO, it appears that said institution has been under attack by some top execs thinking about the bottom line. Now mind you, I’m not against a company making money, but you do it through better product and services, not by nickel-and-diming your customers to death. Here’s what I mean.

Papa John’s – managers need to call their own shops and place orders from time to time. If they did in our area, they would be shocked by how their employees answer the phone. They also need to see if the coupons the ‘mother ship’ provides are sufficient for their demographic. For example, the coupons we’re getting in my ‘hood might do well for a college student, but not a family or a youth ministry. You’ve got good product, but better ingredients is only half the job. Service, service, service!

Pizza Hut – lately when I call to put in an order, I am subjected to a 1 minute advertisement, then put on hold. Get a CLUE! I’m calling you because I already want your product. Why are you frustrating me by making me wait?! Talk about preaching to the choir! About the only thing more frustrating is the “do you want breadsticks” with that after I’ve placed my order. NOOOOOOo! If I wanted them, I’d ask for them. DUH! I do like your family friendly coupons but my-o-my, a bit less sodium might actually cause people to consume more of your product.

Dominos – It appears they are now testing a $1 surcharge for delivery. You know, it’s bad enough your drivers are the terror of my neighborhood, and that one normally tips the driver. Now you want to add $$ on top of that? Hmmm … I’m wondering if some underemployed former Clinton administration exec. thought of this one, because it sure sounds like a tax to me. Good luck.

Speaking of tips – here’s one. Don’t do things that get in the way your customers spending money. And never, ever make them feel like their being punished for their purchase decison. Of course, service is only half of the game. All these establishments could do themselves a big favor if they’d just improve their products. Too salty, over cooked, or toppings that missed their mark – all things that usually inspire me to visit the House of Gyro instead. Too bad I can’t get my church’s teens hooked on baba ganoush!


  1. our homemade pizza wins hands down any day :D mmm…. haven’t turned away a unhappy customer from our place yet ;)

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